I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
I think my new low is running outside in a towel to pet a particularly fluffy looking squirrel and projectile vomiting off the balcony.
I just realized I consumed seven different types of alcohol this weekend. And I'm only counting jungle juice as one of those. How the fuck did I not die?
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
I guess you could say the date didn’t go so well since I was drunkenly Snapchatting with my ex by the end of it.
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
Randomize
