marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
My cab driver just texted me 'goodnight beautiful'. I think my 'desperate for a guy phase' has just moved into a fuck my life phase.
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
Randomize
