i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today.
You disinfected one of his friends, buttered the jeans of the other one. And you poured every liquid you could reach on the floor, including cooking oil and green tea. It wasnt a great first impression
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
Randomize
