im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
he thought i was a dude.
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
As soon as the clock wound down to zero, she declared "HALF-TIME HEAD" and pulled down my pants. After the swallow, she said "BEER CHASER," got me a new one, and asked if she could make me a sandwich. Pretty sure she's lobbying hard for a ring.
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
I've decided it's okay if I take a pregnancy test every month. Then I can be like, "Good job, self, way to not procreate this month!"
Randomize
