What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
My kid just put flowers in my hair to make me pretty, then showed my boobs to an entire playground. He's either the best wingman or the worst.
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
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