I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
I just watched my mom open a wine bottle with an electric drill. I have never been so proud.
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
Do you think my job would send me for a second drug test if i took a whole pumpkin pie to work for lunch tomorrow?
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
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