In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
i don't plan on having that self control this summer
oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
so my 6 year old came home from school and asked me if he was a bastard cause the kids at school called him one, i told him to call them a clit. those parents will hate me
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
If I got to choose how I die, it would be in an Olympic sized pool of gin and tonic.
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
It's sad that I'm more proud of my Twitter account then my resume
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
My horoscope should say: you're an alcoholic, get help today, Pisces
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