after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
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