were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
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