Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
Randomize
