we have officially lost it.
You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
So I was talking to her on the phone last night and had to mute it so I could take a crap.
Side Note: My mute button doesn't work.
Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
Our house almost burnt down last night. I woke up at 4:10am to the smoke alarm going off bc the bean bag chair was on fire so i extinguished it and smoked a bowl at 4:20 to celebrate my fire extinguishing abilities
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
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