you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
Randomize
