This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
theres a note on the fridge that says "guess what i peed in" and a half-full bottle of apple juice front and center. why did you let him in the house?
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
Randomize
