his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
Finally got with the virgin.
Yeah? Howd that go?
As soon as I got it all the way in, I looked deep into her eyes and said "your soul is mine" in the deepest voice I could make. She was not amused.
Randomize
