So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
Julian told me all the fish in his pond died and he didn't know when or how. I didn't have the heart to tell him he drunkenly peed in the pond on Saturday as everyone cheered him on.
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
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