Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
Is re-gifting a Valentine's Day present worse than re-gifting a Xmas one?
You're unbelievable, unbelievably awesome.
Can someone please explain where the fish in the mason jar came from when we were at a bar all night?
You told the bartender if he gave you one of the fish you'd go away
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
You tried to get the Waffle House waitress to put a candle in your cheesy hash browns.
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
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