There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
i will trade you pizza and a blowjob for a fifth of vodka.
do i get to eat the pizza while you give me the blowjob?
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
Randomize
