New invention idea: vibrating tampons
Just bought plan B with a coupon. Told the pharmacist I like to keep it classy.
Every day you talk to me ... I literally love you more..
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
All the doctor said was why
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
Randomize
