i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
the girl next to me at the bar JUST looked down at her vagina and said "im going to get you fed". if i come home alone tonight...i give you permission to cut off my penis
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
Remember when I was real fucked up and said I would give up utensils and only use chopsticks for lent?...just got the reminder on my phone.
Randomize
