Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
This wedding is gonna be a disaster. I already had to turn down one of the groomsmen who offered me $100 to sleep with him next wknd.
Too low?
Yes.
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
fries before guys. food before dudes. shakes before dates. chips before dicks. lemon bars before football stars. macaroni before screwin' tony. what i'm saying is please come to ladies' night
There is no way to say this. Dude, I peed your bed. No questions, no answers. My flight leaves in 30 minutes. Use my detergent. Also, THE VODKA IN THE FRIDGE IS YOURS.
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
Randomize
