How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dogshit lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe.
If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
This smoking ban is really fucking with my ability to fart in public
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
So the doctor told me that I am starting to showing the early signs of liver cirrhosis. Thank you Jack Daniels for making the first 26 years of my life awesome.
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
Randomize
