you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me"
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
I live vicariously through you. No one mistakes me for a hooker anymore. I look like a stay at home mom of three. On bad days of four.
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
Randomize
