Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
She's like the Oprah of therapy. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. WITH A PADDED ROOOOM
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
Randomize
