I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
Get everyone into the kitchen. I need you all to witness me friend-zoning him. Just in case.
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
It's like, "you literally have no idea who i am but i definitely slept with your brother in your bed."
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
I mean I'm completely serious and also drunk.
What a great combination.
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