you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
Just high enough for therapy.
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
Randomize
