Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
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