And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
It's okay I missed my booty call by two whole minutes so I decided to delete him from my phone and then re-add him as "I am a douchelord"
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
Randomize
