I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
you threw up in the oven last night. i found that out after i preheated it to cook a pizza.
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
Great parenting moment: noticing your kid is going to puke from gorging fish sticks and sending her outside. Then watching her puke on your dog.
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
Randomize
