i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
You dont lie about slip and slides
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
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