Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
Randomize
