Girl last night got so wet when I was going on down her it flooded up my nose. I nearly drown
I'm at my inlaws playing Scrabble. Go Fuck Yourself.
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
I swear to God, I saw my life flash between my legs.
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
Randomize