"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
I woke up this morning to my phone notebook open and written was "reasons why I'm a whore in chronological order" then it listed everybody I've had sex with in the past five months.
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
Randomize
