If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
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