it's too hot outside to masturbate.
The sex toys I ordered are being shipped to my billing address instead of shipping address. Take a guess where they're on their way to right now - my parents' house. And the package has to be signed for so there's no way around it. Fuck.
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
I just had a 10 minute staring contest with my dog. Can you come over?
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
Randomize