So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
3pm strippers are depressing
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
I went with vodka instead of tequila tonight so I make better decisions. Fool proof plan.
Randomize
