I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
in my drunkeness I still was able to plan for the morning. I duck taped my keys, a water bottle full of mimosa and my cell phone to the front door.
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
Randomize
