I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
why do i have 22 missed calls from someone who is literally saved in my phone as bumrape star??
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
I'm pretty sure that my eyebrow is going to be swollen from a sex injury tomorrow and possibly a black eye. If it forms that way it wiil be the second time. Different eyeball. Different decade.
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
Randomize
