You were right. It hurts to walk today.
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
Randomize
