I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
I just set my mike's hard down and didn't want it to spill, so I held my finger up and told it to shoosh. I'm drunk.
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
Randomize
