i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
I just timed my pee with a stop watch. From when the main stream started to ended. It was 45.1 seconds. This is the truth trust me.
Randomize
