It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
Randomize
