David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
Like tbh you're not doing anything that screams I'm drunk and yet nothing says I'm going to spend $30 on McDonalds and make out with a stranger like that picture
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
Randomize
