barbara walters just said penis...
Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
She keeps comparing me to her favorite dildo and I don’t know if I’m flattered or creeped out
Randomize
