Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
Randomize
