i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
Mars, I'm going to name my child horatio mars. He will hate me till he gets high. Then he'll understand
You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
At least life still wants to fuck me.
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
Randomize
