I just woke up under a kitchen table with my sandals taped to my feet and a corona bottle taped to my hand..
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
Randomize
