But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
I sent the random girl I had sex with last night a 'happy mothers day' text as a reminder to get the morning after pill.
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
Randomize
