I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
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