1:57 a.m. Where did you go???
1:58 a.m. What are you doing? I want to go home with you, why aren't you responding?
2:11 a.m. Heading back to your place now, will you let me in?
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
Cancelling your gym membership calls for alcohol.
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
Woke up to I'm AWESOME written in purple crayon all over my walls. I love drunk me
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
Randomize
