You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
I just wanted to give you a heads up. There's a crab in the kitchen. He doesn't have a name yet. We are just calling him crab for now. Oh! and we have memosas!
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
You got me 4 pizzas and i just saw this. I'm too drunk for this shit. I just yelled "4 pizzas holy shit!" At the pizza dude
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
Randomize
