Is it normal to miss your booty call?
Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
I just accidently deleted 60 gigs of porn from my external hard drive. Thats over 300 pornos! I think im gonna cry.
Im surprised that you are even able to text me right now.
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
Leave it to me to pull up my boyfriend’s grandfather’s obituary just to find out the name of his sister.
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
He had me sit on his face until I begged him to stop, then held me there 5 minutes longer. I rested my head on his chest, told him I needed time to recover....and slept for 6 hours. By the time I woke, he was already at work. I just sent him a countdown times until his shift is over.
Randomize
