i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
I bought a police grade breathalyzer on ebay at 4:37 am. At least I'm a responsible drunk.
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! I REPEAT, MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! I LITERALLY NOW HAVE TO CANCEL ALL OF MY WEEKEND PLANS.
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
Randomize
