i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
Worst case scenario, I put a giant cork in your vagina so you don't give birth before my birthday
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
Randomize
