There were 3 chicks in my bed I didn't know when I got home. Now I know all of them. Biblically.
his penis is like a homeless cat. ever since I've satisfied him he keeps showing up on my doorstep ask for more.
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
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