taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
He kept humping my leg and whispering "dont worry, thats my phone not my penis"
I may have to marry her. She is smarter than me and has a six figure job and doesn't want to have kids. All I have to be is a trophy husband.
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
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