The only reason you're wearing underwear tonight is cause you have a family dinner before
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
It’s 830 am and the amount of Valentine’s Day snaps I’ve already seen makes me either want to vom, drink a bottle of wine, or buy chocolate
1000% No lie I was just looking on insta and was thinking about taking a bottle of wine to the face..
Randomize
