SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
I feel bad for her, but I feel like she's one of those resource-raping alien civilizations that visits planets, decimates them and then leaves. Those really aren't the qualities I appreciate in a friend. Ya know?
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
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