I woke up, mistook him for my ex, and started screaming. It was all that chest hair. I don't think this relationship is going anywhere.
you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
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