She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
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