i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
stop changing my ringtone to people fucking, it looks bad at work
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
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